Celebrating The Imporatnt Things - Late Birthday Post

My birthday was in February but I'd still like to share this beautiful picture collage of images I captured during my birthday weekend at the stunning Lilayi Lodge.

Looking back on growing a year older, I realise that my fear is not really about aging, my fear is about growing older and feeling like I should have achieved more, or that I had expected to have certain things in my life at this point that I don't.

Surrounded by Love: Happy Birthday to Me!

February is my favourite month in the calendar not only because it's the month of “love” but because it's my birthday month!

I am so BIG on birthdays, growing up I never got a party for my birthday as my older sister was asthmatic and usually ill around that time or something terrible would usually happen just before my birthday. For a long time I always thought my birthday was jinxed and I never enjoyed it. I've not really celebrated it for the last two years as my best friend lost her dad just before my birthday and the next year we his memorial service.

Because of all this I've ALWAYS wanted to have a huge birthday party. I've been obsessed with it for years, but this year I didn't feel that way. I actually just wanted a quiet birthday with a few of my very close friends over a meal and some drinks. I wish I could say it's growing up (hahaha) but fat chance, I still intend to have a big birthday party when I finally hit the big 30 (geez)
So my birthday was on Sunday 2nd February, after church my best friend and I went to meet up with two other friends at a quiet, laid back restaurant. We had cocktails and a meal and we shared stories and laughed so hard. I really didn't want to leave, I felt so surrounded with love.

Letter To My Sixteen Year Old Self

Dear 16 year old me,

What would you like me to start with, the good news or the bad news? Lol, just kidding, you should probably know that you’re actually not doing too bad. Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves though, you have really made some HUGE mistakes over the past couple of years but your present self is coming to terms with it.

Remember how terrified you were of going out there in the big bad world on your own? Well, you live on your own now, well you do have a housemate and your boyfriend is there half the time (yes, you have a boyfriend, you won’t die alone as you often feared..lol) but you are an independent woman, you left your family and relocated to another city! You would be proud.

You will also be pleased to know you graduated from University with a degree, you almost got a distinction but you were really very lazy throughout uni and ended up with a merit. You still hate studying and you still do everything last minute but you really had fun getting a degree, you have very few regrets because unlike other people who took school way too seriously, you took it in your stride and were your usual happy go lucky self.

Oh by the way, you will really grow up during uni, and I don’t just mean your mindset. You will develop into a pretty awesome young lady and thank heavens you will develop a sense of style! You will become more confident about your body and your looks and people will start to notice that you are beautiful because of this, and your inner glow. Appreciate your body, you will later on gain some weight and miss your body but then again you don’t look so bad..lol

I know you are curious to know about your love life, you were always such a hopeless romantic and you still are! Wish you would stop watching those stupid romantic movies though! Anyway, you will meet quiet a lot of guys during uni, you will even have three guy best friends during that time, some of the friendships will not continue after uni but they will always be your friends. You will go on a couple of bad dates, haha, you won’t believe this but at some point you will try internet dating and this guy will start stalking you and try to force himself on you but thank heavens you will come out alright. That probably taught you a lesson.

There will be this one guy; you know how you always had a weakness for good looking guys? Well this one will be pretty good looking! You should know that he is going to go down in history as your first love, you will have the biggest crush on him for three years but sadly you will never really get together, it is going to be so complicated, you are going to cry a lot and yes kiddo, your heart is going to break into tiny little pieces. Let me tell you that you are partly to blame for this but don’t be too hard on yourself, you will only be protecting your heart and at least you will come out with your dignity. He will always respect you for that. You will be young and kind of childish at that time and very innocent and naive, so forgive yourself. You will learn so much from this experience; it will help you through the next stages of your life. I’m concluding on your behalf that you will always feel a bit of sadness over this but is that not the story of first loves? And don’t read this and think maybe someday you two will get back together because he is getting married to someone else soon. Yes, he told you himself and you cried and couldn’t breathe for a minute but it passed and I think you are going to be okay.

Ah, don’t feel too bad because guess what? You will fall in love again. And it is going to be a lot like the fairytale you always wanted but be warned, it will not be easy! You will still have issues from your past relationship and because of that you will nearly lose this love. Nearly, but you won’t. He is an amazing guy, you will love him differently but with just as much intensity. He is sweet and thoughtful and he would probably do anything in the world for you. He will even take you to the world cup! Imagine that! I won’t let the cat out of the bag but somewhere during this time something very terrible is going to happen, you will want to die, in fact, if it wasn’t for God’s mercy you would have probably died. It will be a milestone. This too will always have an effect on your relationship but somehow the strong belief that you were meant to be together will keep you together through every hardship.

I am not going to tell you anything about your intimate life, I just want to tell you that you were very right about waiting; you have no idea how right.

You’re still terrified about marriage! You always said you would do it as late as possible and kept saying you will get married at 29 and I tell you, this is looking like a huge possibility. But you’re not worried about when this is going to happen, there’s something about you that I like, you take each day as it comes, you’re not in a rush and you believe that everything will work out for your good in the end and it usually does. I really think this guy you’re with is the one, you know, the one you’re going to marry and I wish you much happiness! I do not know what kind of a mother you will be, it will be so funny to see but I will keep you updated.

Your sister will have a baby girl! She is the most gorgeous little princess on earth and she is so clever, she reminds me a lot of you when you were younger.  Your sister will also be getting married soon. Your mum and dad are still together so don’t get so depressed when they talk about divorce, they will stay together in the end and learn to live with their differences. Their relationship has taught you some valuable lessons, it has also harmed you in a way and put fear in you about love and marriage but you are determined to have a different story and it looks like you are doing just fine!

There is a lot I have left out but what would be the fun of spoiling everything for you? What I would really like to tell you is you are doing much, much better than you think. I am so proud of who you are at 16, you have no idea what a lovely person you are and what great values you have, you’re a fighter in your own sweet yet stubborn way. I love that you are getting to know God, later on in life it is those lessons you will learn that will guide your life because sometimes you won’t be good at going to church and praying as much as you are starting to do now. I hope you get back to being Godly, you know it is the most important thing in life. I like that you are always trying and you really do love God. It’s extremely important.

 Enjoy the years, you will grow up soon and it’s not as fun as you think! Most importantly stay true to yourself, don’t let people change you, you’re amazing just the way you are!

With love,
Your 20 something year old self.



PS: This is how you look now:)

Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen) ~ Inspirational Thoughts

It's been forever since I posted something on here, my apologies!

Today all I want to really do is share one of my favourite songs which has one of the best messages ever! But what would a post be without some pictures? Thought I would share a few of my favourite people with you. This weekend I will be attending a one year memorial of a really close friend, it makes me realise that we are only here for a moment and we should always, always appreciate the people we love.

 


Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen) Baz Lurhman

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

    Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

    Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

    Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

    Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Weekend Shenanigans

This past weekend was really a mile stone for me in unexpected ways. I think particularly when it comes to my relationship. I have been dating my man for over two years now and it is the first serious relationship I have ever been in.

On Sunday morning my boyfriend took me for a walk and we went looking for a Park where we could sit and talk about all the issues that have been boiling up between us over the past few weeks. He got us lost twice and in the end we found ourselves at a botanic garden. We found a rusty old swing and we sat there for hours talking and ironing out our issues. We talked it out and we decided to put all our errors behind us and start afresh. It was a lot like renewing our commitment to each other. I now understand why people have ceremonies to re-dedicate their marriage, I thought it was a little artificial but after experiencing something close to it I realise that sometimes in a relationship you can take each other for granted and forget the reason why you are together.

I learned a lot of things that I need to work on and also expressed all the things that had been hurting me. Some things can seem so little but as they build up they create resentment and it explode unexpectedly.

 The swing was not that comfortable..lol..but it was a peaceful place to spend time.

Have to admit, that smile is a winner! He can get away with anything with this puppy look :)

Afterwards I met up with one of my best friends and two other friends. We went to Rhapsody’s which is a chic restaurant in Lusaka and we chatted over some cappuccino and barbeque chicken wings and chips. Lately we have all become so busy with trying to get our careers going and work that we rarely have time for each other so it was good to catch up, with a little gossip too!

I think it is important to make time for your friends once in a while no matter how busy you are, it is so refreshing to be in the company of good friends. My best friend finished law school last year and is now trying to be admitted to the bar but we always spend Sundays together after church. I really appreciate the effort she makes because I know how hectic life is for her right now. I am trying to be better at keeping in touch with old friends too cause I know how it feels when your friends seem to have forgotten all about you. Sometimes you just need to know that there are people who care about you out there.

Sorry but I have no proper picture of my dress, it is a floral maxi dress and I love it. I want to have lots of maxi dresses in my closet because they are so comfortable and stylish, also perfect for any weather. Speaking of which it is so cold here! June is our winter and though we have no snow it gets pretty cold. Lucky you if it’s warm and sunny in your country..lol.

Thank you for reading!

On Trend: The Maxi Skirt

I have been in love with the maxi look for a long while now but could never find a maxi skirt that felt right on me so you can imagine how delirious I got when I stumbled upon the perfect maxi skirt a few days ago while thrift/vintage shopping! I got pretty lucky and found some cute leopard print peep-toe pumps too which has also been on my wish list for a long time. In my mind the outfit was already made!

I am the sort of person who does not wait to wear new clothes because I believe tomorrow is a gift, not a promise. I don't keep clothes for special occasions unless it is a really SPECIAL one and it's coming soon because I don't want to buy something and die before I wear it! It's pretty silly but I live by that rule.

Apart from that I have been giving away a lot of stuff that I don't wear anymore because I really want to un-clutter my life. I am such a hoarder and always tell myself that I might need an item of clothing later even when I have not worn it for months. I am trying to change! I do not want clothes to be so important in my life. I feel good about shopping for clothes and looking good but I don't want it to be more important than love, friendship and family.

I do not have the prettiest toes so don't look too hard! lol. Thank you for reading!!!