Dear 16 year old me,
What would you like me to start with, the good news or the bad news? Lol, just kidding, you should probably know that you’re actually not doing too bad. Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves though, you have really made some HUGE mistakes over the past couple of years but your present self is coming to terms with it.
Remember how terrified you were of going out there in the big bad world on your own? Well, you live on your own now, well you do have a housemate and your boyfriend is there half the time (yes, you have a boyfriend, you won’t die alone as you often feared..lol) but you are an independent woman, you left your family and relocated to another city! You would be proud.
You will also be pleased to know you graduated from University with a degree, you almost got a distinction but you were really very lazy throughout uni and ended up with a merit. You still hate studying and you still do everything last minute but you really had fun getting a degree, you have very few regrets because unlike other people who took school way too seriously, you took it in your stride and were your usual happy go lucky self.
Oh by the way, you will really grow up during uni, and I don’t just mean your mindset. You will develop into a pretty awesome young lady and thank heavens you will develop a sense of style! You will become more confident about your body and your looks and people will start to notice that you are beautiful because of this, and your inner glow. Appreciate your body, you will later on gain some weight and miss your body but then again you don’t look so bad..lol
I know you are curious to know about your love life, you were always such a hopeless romantic and you still are! Wish you would stop watching those stupid romantic movies though! Anyway, you will meet quiet a lot of guys during uni, you will even have three guy best friends during that time, some of the friendships will not continue after uni but they will always be your friends. You will go on a couple of bad dates, haha, you won’t believe this but at some point you will try internet dating and this guy will start stalking you and try to force himself on you but thank heavens you will come out alright. That probably taught you a lesson.
There will be this one guy; you know how you always had a weakness for good looking guys? Well this one will be pretty good looking! You should know that he is going to go down in history as your first love, you will have the biggest crush on him for three years but sadly you will never really get together, it is going to be so complicated, you are going to cry a lot and yes kiddo, your heart is going to break into tiny little pieces. Let me tell you that you are partly to blame for this but don’t be too hard on yourself, you will only be protecting your heart and at least you will come out with your dignity. He will always respect you for that. You will be young and kind of childish at that time and very innocent and naive, so forgive yourself. You will learn so much from this experience; it will help you through the next stages of your life. I’m concluding on your behalf that you will always feel a bit of sadness over this but is that not the story of first loves? And don’t read this and think maybe someday you two will get back together because he is getting married to someone else soon. Yes, he told you himself and you cried and couldn’t breathe for a minute but it passed and I think you are going to be okay.
Ah, don’t feel too bad because guess what? You will fall in love again. And it is going to be a lot like the fairytale you always wanted but be warned, it will not be easy! You will still have issues from your past relationship and because of that you will nearly lose this love. Nearly, but you won’t. He is an amazing guy, you will love him differently but with just as much intensity. He is sweet and thoughtful and he would probably do anything in the world for you. He will even take you to the world cup! Imagine that! I won’t let the cat out of the bag but somewhere during this time something very terrible is going to happen, you will want to die, in fact, if it wasn’t for God’s mercy you would have probably died. It will be a milestone. This too will always have an effect on your relationship but somehow the strong belief that you were meant to be together will keep you together through every hardship.
I am not going to tell you anything about your intimate life, I just want to tell you that you were very right about waiting; you have no idea how right.
You’re still terrified about marriage! You always said you would do it as late as possible and kept saying you will get married at 29 and I tell you, this is looking like a huge possibility. But you’re not worried about when this is going to happen, there’s something about you that I like, you take each day as it comes, you’re not in a rush and you believe that everything will work out for your good in the end and it usually does. I really think this guy you’re with is the one, you know, the one you’re going to marry and I wish you much happiness! I do not know what kind of a mother you will be, it will be so funny to see but I will keep you updated.
Your sister will have a baby girl! She is the most gorgeous little princess on earth and she is so clever, she reminds me a lot of you when you were younger. Your sister will also be getting married soon. Your mum and dad are still together so don’t get so depressed when they talk about divorce, they will stay together in the end and learn to live with their differences. Their relationship has taught you some valuable lessons, it has also harmed you in a way and put fear in you about love and marriage but you are determined to have a different story and it looks like you are doing just fine!
There is a lot I have left out but what would be the fun of spoiling everything for you? What I would really like to tell you is you are doing much, much better than you think. I am so proud of who you are at 16, you have no idea what a lovely person you are and what great values you have, you’re a fighter in your own sweet yet stubborn way. I love that you are getting to know God, later on in life it is those lessons you will learn that will guide your life because sometimes you won’t be good at going to church and praying as much as you are starting to do now. I hope you get back to being Godly, you know it is the most important thing in life. I like that you are always trying and you really do love God. It’s extremely important.
Enjoy the years, you will grow up soon and it’s not as fun as you think! Most importantly stay true to yourself, don’t let people change you, you’re amazing just the way you are!
Your 20 something year old self.
PS: This is how you look now:)