Wednesday 31 December 2014

Thank You For The Lessons

This isn't one of those new year new me posts, really. Well at least I hope it's not. I just thought it would be decent to say some words before 2014 comes to an end.

 This year has taught me a lot of life lessons. The truth is, in 2013, I slipped into depression. I spent the whole year denying what was happening to me and not making any progress. I won't go into it but I am truly grateful for the people in my life who put up with me and who finally gave me the tough love I needed to start putting my life back together again.

And that's what 2014 really was for me. Pulling myself back together. Opening a new chapter. Experimenting. I am only beginning, but for the first time in a long time, I feel a sense of hope. And most importantly, I am starting to know myself, to know my weaknesses and celebrate my strengths.

So here are some of my lessons

Shit happens
 Yes. Really. Shit does happen. You can plan your life in one way and in the blink of an eye, it goes in the complete opposite direction. It's part of life. It just means you get a new story. Pull yourself together and make the most of it. Because shit has to happen for you to know you are human. You are alive. Remember that every time it gets bad. Being alive beats anything you will ever go through because it means you can still change your story. It's not too late.

Love is not for sissy's
  Love is tough. Any relationship is going to take work. You have to understand this before you ever say you love someone. Love means opening your eyes to who the person really is, the good and the bad, and deciding that you can handle the whole picture. I want to make one thing clear though. Love is not abusive. If someone makes you feel less of yourself, if someone hurts you over and over again, cheats on you, verbally or mentally abuses you or God forbid, ever hits you, stop making excuses! That's not love and staying doesn't make you a hero. A quote I read this year that stuck with me said, "Know the difference between someone who makes a mistake and someone who just isn't worth it."

A relationship is only a part of your life
 This was a big lesson. Romantic relationships are important to us and as  we grow older we don't want to keep playing games, we want to settle down with that forever somebody. However, sometimes it does not work out that way. We may face disappointments and find that what we invested so much time, effort and love in falls apart. This is something really difficult for a lot of us but the funny thing is, we can make it through this kind of pain like anything else we have faced so far. It's great to be with someone but being with or without someone does not define you. There are so many other wonderful aspects of your life, your career, your family, your friends and your hobbies. A relationship is only part of your life and you have to learn to treat it that way so that if it should fall apart, your whole life does not tumble. Do not allow anyone to make you feel like you are not complete because you don't have a partner. After all, people come and go. Settling for something that brings you pain and may not last just to satisfy a social expectation is the worst thing you can do. Find your balance, and celebrate your life. 

Surround yourself with positive people
 You have heard this a thousand times. It is true. Sometimes you won't have the strength to get through a situation on your own. You need positive people who can  light the way for you. The truth is you know who the genuine people are in your life. Be careful of the kind of people who always praise you but secretly hope for your downfall. In tough times, look around you, the people still standing by your side, those are the one's to keep.

Keep your heart open
 Yes. You have been hurt before. People have let you down. It's hard to trust. But everybody has experienced pain. You are no exception. The people who hurt you win only if they leave you miserable for the rest of your life. Be careful but keep your heart open. Do not miss out on amazing new friendships or relationships because of past experiences.

It's your story. Don't let other people write it for you
 As you grow older, you realise that the person who suffers the consequences of your choices is usually you. Sometimes we cave in to what other people want for us, or what others expect of us but if this is not really what we want or if it makes us unhappy, we must learn to respectfully say no, and do it our way. Your life is your story. Date a guy that makes you happy even if your friends don't think he is cute, pick out a pair of floral pants if you like them even if nobody else will buy them, study a course you want and not a course you hate because you think it will impress others, start a business that you believe in, change your job if you find something you feel interests you more. It's your life. As long as it does not selfishly affect other people, do what you want.

God believes in you. Even if you don't
 Listen, you are not here in this moment because you are better than the people who didn't make it today. God believes in you. The creator of heaven and earth thinks you are worth keeping around so look up. Take a deep breath. And live. If you don't remember anything else I have said, REMEMBER THIS.

Thank you for reading and see you in the new year!!!

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